Gestational Diabetes Diagnosis Confirmed

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Well, it’s official – I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.

So far I still don’t know very much about it the plan but after a few appointments with various people I should know more. What I do know is:

I am still in the care of the midwives. I am being sent to consult with an OBGYN but for now they are just precautionary. If I can keep my sugars under control I will likely not be transferred to an OBGYN full time. It’s only if I need medication or insulin to control the sugars that I will be transferred. So, here’s hoping that diet and exercise are enough. If things are going REALLY well, there might even be a chance I can still deliver at home.

I am also being sent to a local nutrition counselling centre where I will talk with a dietician and get my glucometer. I will have to test my blood sugars likely 4 times a day to begin with and track what they are. The dietitians at the nutrition centre will likely want me to keep a food diary and count calories, keeping track of everything that enters my mouth and being aware of macronutrient ratios – nothing new to me but incredibly triggering. I will then only see my own dietician, I’m hoping we can make this work with the choice system I had in program instead of going back to the grams of carbs and precise calorie counts. It’s still a step backwards, but it’s not a giant leap. My dietician knows how worried I am about all of this and how scared I am of slipping back into old patterns, and more afraid of being unable to break them again so I know she is on my side. I was talking to my psychologist yesterday and told her that even though I am 2 years symptom free next week, it feels like it doesn’t count – having to start tracking my food again, go back to low fat and diet foods, start questioning the foods I eat and limiting (and likely cutting out all together) the treat foods feels like a controlled relapse. She encouraged me by saying it’s not a controlled relapse, to relapse I would have to be re-engaging in ED behaviours again and not just applying new diet rules to my intake. I will clarify this with my dietician when I see her on Saturday because it’s still a very big gray area to me.

Although I am still very afraid and anxious about all of this, I think I can handle it. I need a few more answers before I can get into the swing of things but for now I feel pretty settled with it. I noticed that last week my mind frame was reminiscent of old patterns – thoughts like “ED is so strong, what if I just can’t get out of it again? What if I can’t pull back out of these eating patterns?” I began feeling like whether or not I fell back into ED was up to fate, either I would or I wouldn’t and I had no power over it. This week I’m starting to recognize that I have every say in it and it was overcoming this “up to fate” mindset that helped me pull out of my ED in the first place. I dug myself out once and if I need to, I will dig myself out again. I am driving this bus and I am strong enough to keep it on track.

It’s going to be one hell of a fight but I have an amazing support system, a lot of people on my side who are looking out for me and a number of people who love me and would do anything to help. Like a little train once said, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can”.

2 Comments

  1. Vicky L |

    Oh Claire I am so sorry for the news. I am so impressed and grateful to see how strong you are to be so aware and open about the triggering aspect and being open with your nutritionist and making a game plan to be open and honest about the worries in order to keep the bus on course. I loved loved loved your analogy and statement of driving the bus and keeping it on track. I immediately started researching because I wanted to learn more to understand what is happening and I am relieved to read this is something that does not usually continue after delivery. I am again so impressed by your will power and its true, it feels terrifying like a set up for relapse but relapsing would be diving into secrecy, of being unwilling to talk and plan a game plan that keeps you safe and I love the idea of using the choice value system, I still do that when I ask my mom to pick up “2 choice” granola bars for the house and I hope that that method can be used instead of the counting of calories because of how toxic for all of us that process is. I am glad you have loved ones and carson by your side and I am sending such love and hugs your way. You are a hero and a fighter and this is one more battle that will give you in no time at all your greatest wish; your baby. You can do this and again so impressed by the game plan you have set up to keep healthy and safe during this transition of a diagnosis. <3 you are a warrior hero cape wearing goddess!

    Reply
    • Claire |

      Thank you SO much Vicky, you are so incredibly generous with your words. I’m still seeing Holly and she’s being wonderful, we are coming together with a plan of how to deal with the “guidelines” I’ll be getting from the diabetes specialist. I’ll know more later this week.

      Thank goodness this is something that will leave after the baby is born, I’m just worried that once you start playing with fire you can’t always control it or put it out when you want.

      THANK YOU for your comments on relapse, you are SO right. There is no secrecy or trying to trick the system going on, no lies or hiding. That’s a great indication of when things might be going awry, I’m having trouble defining that line at this point but this really helped.

      I’m not sure if the choices can be used at this point because I havn’t seen the diabetes people yet but after I get the information from then I’m sending it all to Holly and she will help me with a game plan. I feel so incredibly supported by her and the rest of the team that I see privately. Carson is being a real hero and I’m feeling a bit better about it every day. There are still those lingering thoughts that show up in the back of my head but I can still push them aside for now. Taking it one day, one meal at a time and it’s pretty manageable. I’ll do another update later this week after I see the diabetes people. <3 love you and thank you again <3

      Reply

So, what do you think ?