There’s more to gain than weight

BY IN Book, Lifeline, Musings, Thoughts NO COMMENTS YET , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About a year ago I started thinking about my upcoming wedding. As much weight as I still felt I had to lose before I would be thin enough (not because of my wedding but because of my disorder) and as much fat as I saw whenever I looked in the mirror, I was thin and


Thoughts on the Experiment and Acceptance

BY IN Book, Challenges, Thoughts NO COMMENTS YET , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

When I first started in recovery, my treatment team kept saying to treat recovery as an experiment. You are trying out something new to see how it fits, and you can always go back to your eating disorder if you want to, but you have to give the experiment a chance. I had a really


Feeling Self Destructive

BY IN Challenges, Lifeline NO COMMENTS YET , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

So, for the last little while I’ve been feeling more and more self-destructive. I don’t know for exactly how long because it’s built up slowly. For the last week and a couple days I have been tracking my calories again. It’s not overwhelming me and I’m not changing my decisions based on the numbers so